Let’s Talk: Childhood Mental Health

Fit MommaBoom

In a weird way, it’s a good thing you have anxiety so that you can recognize when it’s happening.

I’m paraphrasing above, but I had that conversation with a mental health professional about my child. I’ve been mulling over writing about this, because its part my story and part not my story. But the more I think about it, the more I want to normalize this.

I have anxiety. I have panic attacks. I’ve had bouts of depression. I didn’t fully understand all of this and what I’d been living with most of my life until my thirties. Imagine, living most of your life, in that state, and just accepting it, struggling, and not always understanding why your brain functioned the way it did. I lived in my own head a lot.

Then, I hit bottom. It was ugly. It wasn’t glamourous. It wasn’t fun. Then I sought help. My…

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My phone is giving me anxiety

The Official Kirsten Evans Blog

As I am writing, I am on day 4 of a social media detox. Well, day 4 without Instagram and Facebook. It took me longer to get rid of Snapchat, but I finally had to cave and do that as well.

My phone was giving me anxiety.

Every Snapchat, every notification, every text started to fill my heart with dread. I can’t explain why, really. I just got this sudden, overwhelming feeling of too many people having too much access through too many avenues.

I felt like I was drowning.

This all might sound very weird – it’s not like I am outrageously popular and am fending off an endless stream of texts and calls. But what I did get was just too much.

I love technology. I love that I can be in near constant contact with my cousin even though she is in England and I am in…

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My Battle with Self-harm

There's Been a Change in Me

It came out Wednesday that over a quarter of 14 year old girls admit to self-harming. Boys are obviously doing it too but there wasn’t a statistic realised on this. It is a problem that effects so many young people and we are gradually beginning to talk about it more but still not enough. I just wanted to write something brief on my battle with self-harm. 

I started self harming when I was 15/16, I don’t really know why, other than the fact that too much was going on in my head and that was the release. It became a regular thing and this carried on until I was about 19 as a regular occurrence. People tried to stop me but it didn’t help.

When I was in the self-harm cycle nobody could say anything that was going to stop me. It was an addiction. To start with it was…

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Tearing Down the Stigmas and Myths of Mental Illness

Love, (comma)

Anne Shirley: Can’t you even imagine you’re in the depths of despair?
Marilla Cuthbert: No I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God.
Anne of Green Gables, 1985

I can’t recall how old I was exactly; I feel I must’ve been younger than 12 because I recall this exchange occurring in the kitchen of our first house, the one we moved away from in 7th grade. But who knows – I could be mixing up my memories. Regardless, I was young. Likely somewhere between 11 and 13.

I had always felt “off”. I never felt “quite right”. I had plenty of friends, but I felt alone. And somewhere along the way I learned the word “depression”. I remember standing on the pea-green linoleum in the narrow kitchen with the avocado refrigerator behind me and saying to my dad, “I think I’m depressed.”

He replied…

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My first blog post – Mental health and male suicide.

Not Mental, Just Health

Trigger warnings: Depression, Male Suicide, Mental Health.

As most of my friends and family are aware, I have been talking about starting a blog for a good few months (and years) and have never put pen to paper, or finger to key seeing as I write this in 2018.

As you might also know, I often find myself watching TV in the early hours, with L tucked up in bed, as I struggle to get to sleep. On one of these nights, I found myself scrolling through the BBC iPlayer menu and started watching ‘Stopping Male Suicides’ a programme presented by one of the bearded Doctor brothers that often appear on health shockumentaries about losing weight, prescription drugs or other thought pieces that swim in the wake of whatever cultural zeitgeist happens to be hitting the headlines at that time. Before I go any further, the documentary is still available…

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I Finally Hit Send

Chronically Blessed

I finally hit send. I finally took that terrifying next step in seeking the help that I know that I need. I finally admitted that I can’t do this on my own. I finally realized things can and will get better. I finally got in touch with the counselor at my college…

It took me months to finally hit send. Denial is real and even though I could see that I was a mess, I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t handle things on my own. I suffered in silence for months. I was lost, scared, and not myself, but I didn’t want to admit it.

My grandmother passed away a year ago. It took me almost 6 months before I opened up about her and the grief I was feeling. Months of hiding grief, anger, and confusion. Months of not knowing where…

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Some initial thoughts on talking therapies

swarles talks

So I feel like I need to start this post off by thanking everyone who took the time read my first blog and talk to me about it. The response was overwhelming and I can’t express enough how grateful I am for how well received it was. It was a very big thing for me to put that out there for everyone to see and was worried about how it might change people’s perspective on me, but if anything it has been for the best. It is like a weight has been lifted as I feel as though those closest to me are now able to understand me better and I feel like I can be more open about how I feel on a daily basis which is fantastic. So yeah, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who replied, reached out to me, shared their own experiences…I really…

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